an euphoric sky

1.

Life is a shallow pool.

And the younger you are, the shallower it is; though you think its depths are endless.

A sunflower is god, because it is yellow.  The fucking blue sky burns your retinas with glory.

A rotting, wooden board is a pirate ship and you are the captain.

You can believe lies so easily, when you are young.

2.

I am almost-young.

A fading.  My new self is forming within my youth, like a pearl forms inside a shell: surrounded by weak flesh.

This may sound all well and good.

You may be saying to yourselves, okay, so she can be more of a realist now.  She can stop living in careless frivolity.  She can step up and become something.

3.

Um, hello?

Don’t you know me but at all?

Jesus, readers.  Pull yourselves together.

If I don’t have my fairy tales, what am I?  I won’t make it through that kind of transition.  I’m not built for it.  I need my worlds and my universes and my fancies.  If my existence becomes mostly about doing dishes and seeing a rotting board instead of a majestic vessel, obscurities will bury me.  A literal sort of burying, like taking too many sleeping pills.  You will hardly see my shadow on the wall.

4.

Now you are certainly saying amongst yourselves (yes, I can hear your muttering) that realism and fantasy can hold equal magic, but you are wrong.  Because I know we are all headed in the same dusty direction through sinks and riverbeds into stone.  I know that we are all lost.  I feel pointless.

5.

I am the oyster.  The pulled apart flesh.  No more shell.  You might gain a pearl from my life.  I hope you do.  But I won’t be there to see it.

6.

I wish to find personal galaxies in the evolution of the sky during a partly-cloudy afternoon.  There are at least seventy worlds in the sky on any given partly-cloudy afternoon.

Don’t let me live myself into death.  Help me go back.  I want to un-know horrors.

I want to live in a sweet, sordid euphoria.

7.

DSCN0940

64 Comments

  1. Poetry is the language of the soul, and the self-reflexivity of this piece was what made it stand out for me in particular.

    Specifically though, the imagery in “…I wish to find personal galaxies in the evolution of the sky during a partly-cloudy afternoon. There are at least seventy worlds in the sky on any given partly-cloudy afternoon…” was/is fantastic.

  2. a primal scream, i hung on every syllable.

    reading work so different from my own always captures my interest. mostly a storyteller, i’ve decided to write more poetry and i will dig a deeper into your work for inspiration. thanks for liking my poem, it’s only my second attempt. means a lot to this week old blogger.

  3. wow, the growing up process is painful. this poem made me realize that storytellers have a lot of responsibility – to capture beliefs, give hope, or take it away. thanks!

  4. What a nice surprise to connect with another free-spirit in mind, heart and body-soul with her-story in poetry about this Life…..to me the Sky People are visions to be manifested…..for you to manifest 70 worlds in an afternoon is euphoric and magical at the least, and to seek your visions, dreams and heart’s desires that’s more natural to true Bliss on Cloud Nine of a who, what, why, where and when Spirit manifests into Stone…..
    Powerful Medicine!!!!!…..inyan~wicasa~waste`…..good stone man

  5. age,
    you are but my
    timely poison;
    my drug,
    chaining me
    to your perverse humor.

    age,
    what am I without you,
    but I certainly
    want to shun you
    on a forgotten, forsaken island,
    but I know,
    your crushing persistence
    will force me,
    will burden me,
    to take you along
    and smile in pretense
    as I lose what I was,
    as I embrace,
    with a frown,
    what I am to become.

    pray,
    don’t make me hate,
    what I become.

  6. Hi shrinksarentcheap. Thank you for calling by and liking my poem ‘ The Last journey’ i do like what you write. Best Wishes, The Foureyed Poet.

  7. this is some seriously fucking beautiful work…really, very few writers and their words stop me, completely. thank you for sharing, i really appreciate the realness of your poetry. so happy to have found you! cheers!

  8. “I wish to find personal galaxies in the evolution of the sky during a partly-cloudy afternoon. There are at least seventy worlds in the sky on any given partly-cloudy afternoon.” love this. worlds over our head and under our feet and we have not the wits to see them. Lawrence Kushner observes that every word in the sacred text (the Tanakh) has seventy faces and 600,000 meanings. And most of us just yawn and turn the page… love your work…

  9. i love it! i smiled sadly and felt the same at lines re. doing dishes and living myself into death.

  10. “Because I know we are all headed in the same dusty direction through sinks and riverbeds into stone”- superb

  11. Your words are pearls. If a sunflower is god because it’s yellow, then we are gods because we’re alive. And if you’re fading, then the rest of us are already dead. But then again, I’m not you young enough to know everything.

  12. Let there be pirates and ships and realms unknown…

    Something on Theo Black’s blog got me pondering the beauty of innocence and how, sometimes, two people together, exploring each other and willing to be open and vulnerable, can create that childlike joy again.

    Thank you for your dreams.

  13. This part spoke to me, “If I don’t have my fairy tales, what am I? I won’t make it through that kind of transition. I’m not built for it. I need my worlds and my universes and my fancies. If my existence becomes mostly about doing dishes and seeing a rotting board instead of a majestic vessel, obscurities will bury me. A literal sort of burying, like taking too many sleeping pills. You will hardly see my shadow on the wall.”

    I like to think of poetry as a way to express what I feel is otherwise inexpressible. It’s how I would face the little realities I couldn’t in life.

Love you, too

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s