a single syllable

I can’t be honest.  My words are jammed, stalled, blocked.  They aren’t there.
Life’s delirium encroaches.  It pounces, then backs off.  Always staring over my shoulders.  Waiting.  It sees its moment again.  Another rip, another bite.
Some songs are magic.  Their notes burrowing into your soul.  It hurts.  It is ecstasy.
I feel like a candle just snuffed out.  Like the puff of smoke that indicates something used to be there.
Am I a coward?  Am I a hero?
If I go out, I should go down in flames.  I will not have endings with passive indifference.  Fight me.  Scream til your throat bleeds.  That is how it should feel.
Sometimes I get blocked.  Sometimes the future isn’t there.  Sometimes I feel like someone is eating my flesh in spoonfuls.
Hovering over me like a fog; the fog has got inside me.
It distorts everything with wavy lines and heavy distance.
I wonder what to do when my mind tells me it wants to disappear.

3 Comments

  1. I sometimes wonder what would happen if people could do just that. If they could disappear. Or if they could let their minds just take a vacation and leave them alone for a while. We tend to think and overthink things when given the chance. It would be nice for that to not be an option. “If I go out, I should go down in flames.”

    1. If over thinking were not an option…wow. I think all my problems would fade away…

      That’s something to think about. Thank you, as always, for your comments. Do you have a blog? I’ve tried to find it through your profile, and I don’t see anything. I’d love to read if you do!

      1. I know what you mean about overthinking. I tend to take my time coming up with plans, and that gets me in trouble. Going with my first thought is usually the best method for me. You’re welcome for my comments, by the way.

        Oh, and my blog is samsonlinejournal.wordpress.com Come on down and check it out!

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